Zombie Head Cookie Jar
Do you think that if zombies had enough presence of mind to cook, that they'd bake things out of brains? We can imagine there being zombie bakeries, where they whip up brain-shaped cupcakes with frosting made from blended parietal lobe. (Don't knock it until you've tried it. It really adds a certain zing to cream cheese frosting. Way better than nutmeg, IMNSHO.) And of course, there'd have to be chocolate chip cookies with chunks of medulla oblongata. OMG, delish...
Star Wars How to Speak Wookiee
"It's not wise to upset a Wookiee, not if you enjoy having your arms firmly rooted in their sockets. So if you're on an intergalactic voyage, you'd like to know that you're saying, ""Thank you for your hospitality, dinner was delicious"" not ""I want to Force choke your delicious children."" Luckily for us, Wu Kee Smith speaks Wookiee fluently and will show you the basics of the language so you can keep your life and limbs when exploring the galaxy. This book is a primer on the Wookiee language and includes a sound board with recordings of real Wookiees, so you can learn from native speakers."
Glow in the Dark Toilet Paper
"When we first looked at this product, we weren't terribly interested. ""Glow in the dark TP?"" we said, arching an eyebrow. ""Why on earth would anyone want glow in the dark TP?"" Then the summer thunderstorms rolled in and we lost power. Sure, we could use our flashlight apps to get to the toilet, but... well, we won't go into details. You probably already filled in the rest of that soggy, sad tale yourself. This roll of Glow in the Dark Toilet Paper is great for a multitude of things, including: Power outages Not waking sleeping spouses by turning on lights Camping Safe Halloween costume for the young mummy in your life A gift for the person who has everything Seriously, the more we thought about it, the more we realized that Glow in the Dark TP was a great idea. And we just know you'll come up with more creative ways to use it and send in your Action Shots. (Just um, don't send us any of those action shots. You know the ones.) Product Features One roll of glow in the dark toilet paper Fits on all standard toilet paper holders Yes, you really can use it for toilet paper Great for camping trips or Halloween, too!"
Organ Transport Lunch Cooler
Perhaps you've heard this story before? You spend the time to prepare an awesome lunch, and carry it with you to work only to find that, when the lunch whistle sounds, some filthy thief raided your tupperware and has stolen your juice-box. Sure, there are plenty of ways to combat the dreaded lunch thief. You can leave passive-aggressive notes, but those only get laughed at. You can resort to shelf-stable items that require no refrigeration, but they kinda suck...
Bacon and Cupcake Toothpastes
Ever since the first person grew teeth, they have gotten dirty. And ever since that first person looked in disgust at dirty teeth, we've worked tirelessly to clean them. From crushed oyster shells, to ferrets, to chemicals, humans have tried everything to get their chompers polished. Little did we know that the two best things to clean your teeth with are bacon and cupcakes. Well, only if the bacon and cupcakes in question are Bacon and Cupcake Toothpastes. It's very simple. The bacon toothpaste tastes like bacon, while the cupcake toothpaste tastes like frosting. It's almost like having breakfast or dessert while you clean your teeth from eating breakfast or dessert. Whoa! With that sort of crazy thought, Bacon and Cupcake Toothpastes might very well destroy the fabric of time and space. Or they might just and clean your teeth. Either way, at least the Bacon and Cupcake Toothpastes with be tasty. YAY! Delicious toothpaste helps you brush longer for better oral health (and justice!) Bacon toothpaste tastes like bacon and the cupcake toothpaste tastes like frosting. Ingredients: Sorbitol, Water, Silica, Glycerin, Flavor, Cellulose Gum, Titanium Dioxide, Xanthan Gum. Net Wt.: 2.5 oz.
Zombie Survival Kit Lunch Box
Rule #1 of living in a land of zombies is Cardio. How do you fuel up for a lot of cardio? Carbohydrates. Gotta eat that pasta and those Twinkies if you're going to have the energy to stay on the run. And always remember, survival is a marathon, not a sprint. Unless it is a sprint, then you should definitely sprint. The Zombie Survival Kit Lunch Box is a metal lunch box ready to hold in all of your zombie fighting fuel. Pack it with Twinkies, Tactical Bacon, caffeinated gum, and energy drinks, everything you'll need to stay alive. Product Specifications It's a Zombie Survival Kit! Just kidding, it's a lunchbox. Can't it be both? Materials: Metal w/plastic handle Dimensions: 7.75" x 6.75" x 4"
"Nobody was quite sure what caused it. An alien pathogen riding the tail of Halley's Comet? Some government ""rage"" virus? Radiation from a downed satellite? Your guess is as good as ours, but one thing's for sure - the dead are rising, and they are hungry for your brains. It's a post-zombie world, and if we want to live in it, we have to learn to live with them. Everybody walks around with large caliber weapons, swords, and cricket bats now, but every now and again you see the so-called ""domesticated"" zombies. These de-toothed and chained shamblers are useful for all sorts of tasks - from carrying your groceries to scaring off those nasty neighborhood kids. Now, of course it's illegal to sell reanimated corpses, so we've had to rely on resin facsimiles to stand in for a frightening visage of death. Watching over your garden is a monstrous shambler, pale, vile and seemingly hungry! Of course, you know better! He's just a terrifying statue! From mid-torso up, he ""rises"" out of your freshly tilled and mulched begonias ready to devour the brains of the next interloper he comes across. Guaranteed to scare away any trespasser, without the headaches of accidentally releasing a real zombie. All those complications, bodies, and police forms - who needs the hassle? Your fresh resin Garden Zombie comes packed in three pieces, and assembles in seconds!"
Zombie Blast Energy Shots 3 Pack
"Can't sleep - zombies will eat us. Can't sleep - zombies will eat us. If you're scared about getting eaten, the first monster you need to vanquish is the sleep zombie. Those are the things that sneak up on you and eat your consciousness (thus making you fall asleep). And just like you fire shotgun blasts at real zombies, so must you fire shotgun blasts at the sleep zombies. Stay awake forever with Zombie Blast Energy Shots. Zombie Blast Energy Shots come in awesome reusable shotgun shell bottles. Loaded with Wildberry flavor, Zombie Blast actually tastes great. It's also loaded with caffeine (from guarana and yerba mate), ginseng, B vitamins, amino acids, other good stuff, and Cognizin! Cognizin is an easily absorbable (and useable) form of citicoline (an essential happy brain nutrient). With Zombie Blast Energy Shots, you'll be able to stay awake for wave after wave of zombie attacks. Or, you know, like a normal work or school day or something. Zombie Blast Energy Shots - BOOM! For nutrition information, click here. Zombie Blast Energy Shots 3 Pack Blast sleep outta your brain with this delicious energy shot. Full of caffeine (about as much as a super strong cup of coffee), ginseng, B vitamins, amino acids, and Cognizin (a well-researched and highly bio-available form of the ""brain nutrient"" citicoline). Citicoline is an essential nutrient that supports overall brain and cellular health. No sugar, no aspartame - but still only 5 calories per shot. Delicious (really, it's one of the best we've tasted) Wildberry flavor. Each shot comes in a reusable shotgun shell bottle! Up to 6 hours of power! 3 bottles per 3 pack. Net Wt.: 2 oz per bottle. Bottle Dimensions: approx. 1.75"" diameter x 3.5"""
Savory Candy Bacon Lollipops Six Pack
"We like bacon. We like bacon on our sandwiches. We like bacon on our chicken. We like bacon in our cream puffs. We like bacon in our salads. We like bacon. And now we can have some super yummy bacon in our lollipops. But not any ordinary lollipops; these suckers have all the curves of real, sexy, delicious bacon. Read on, to learn about the culinary joys of the Savory Candy Bacon Lollipops Six Pack. Each Savory Candy Bacon Lollipops Six Pack comes with (you guessed it) six individually-wrapped suckers. That's awesome enough, but there's more! You get your six in three flavors (two of each). There's Maple, Honey, and BBQ - each one more delicious than the last. The Savory Candy Bacon Lollipops Six Pack are fantastic and handmade, just for you. They're a great way to span the time between second breakfast bacon and elevenses bacon. For nutrition information, click here. Savory Candy Bacon Lollipops Six Pack Yummy, smoky, bacony flavored lollipops - in three delicious flavors. Three flavors (2 pops of each): Maple, Honey, and BBQ. Individually wrapped and hand poured in the USA. Bacon bits are soy and flavoring (no real pig). Dimensions: (not including the stick) 4"" x 1.5"" x 0.25"""
Bacon Lip Balm
"You CLAIM to like bacon. You say, ""ThinkGeek, I like bacon."" And we say to you, ""O RLY? How much bacon did you have yesterday?"" And you reply, ""Ha! Easy! I had bacon with my pancakes at breakfast, bacon on my cheeseburger at lunch, and dinner was bacon-wrapped steak!"" We snicker and lick our monkey lips. Mmmm, bacon. We lick our lips again. Mmm, bacon. Then we laugh at you since you limit your bacon intake to meals only while we have the awesomesauce that is Bacon Lip Balm to have baconny goodness all day long. Seriously, this stuff tastes like the king of meats, but in smooth and moisturizing lip balm form. Fix chapped lips AND taste like the world's most scrumptious pork product all day? We can't think of a better combination. Share your love of the magical animal that produces pork, ham, sausage and bacon by giving your loved ones bacon-flavored kisses."
Edible Dried Zombie Skin
"There's that old saying: If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. But how does this apply to the zombie invasion, you're wondering. Well, let's just say that people will run out of food before the zombies do. So, why not do like the zombies and eat your enemy. That's right: cook and eat the zombies! Or, maybe, just munch on some Edible Dried Zombie Skin. Now, before you undead rights activists get all mad, Edible Dried Zombie Skin isn't really made out of zombies. It's actually crunchy dried seaweed. And it's delicious! It's all natural, gluten free, and perfect for vegans (no people parts - promise). Just make sure to eat Edible Dried Zombie Skin out of the bag; that way you'll get all the tastiness of the ""skin"" and all the joy out of the funny looks of others. For nutrition information, click here. Edible Dried Zombie Skin Looks like peeling, desiccated zombie skin, but it's really yummy dried seaweed treats! Vegan, all natural, and gluten free. A deliciously crunchy snack. Net Wt: 0.4oz (approx. 2 servings) Package Dimensions: approx. 9.5"" x 5.75"" x 0.75"""
ACCOUTREMENTS BANDAGE - BACON
"Ouch! That Smarts! Treat Your Minor Cuts Scrapes And Scratches With The Incredible Healing Power Of A Designer Bandage. Each Comes In A 3-3/4"" Tall Metal Pocket Tin And Contains A Small Plastic Trinket To Help Make Even The Ouchiest Owies Feel All Better In No Time. The 3"" X 1"" Bacon Strips Are Cut To Look Like Small Slabs Of Bacon. Fifteen Per Tin."