1) "You have as many hours in a day as Priyanka Chopra, what you don't have are the looks, money or talent."
2) "Before I have my morning chai, I'm a bitch, after chai I'm a bitch with energy."
3) "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because they wouldn't let you in because you're a terrible person?"
4) "There's plenty of fish in the pond, but maybe it's time you delete Tinder and let your mom find you a fishta (Geddit? Fish + rishta)."
5) "It's not Monday that sucks, it's your life."
6) "Relationships are like fine wine, they're expensive and eventually you just end up with a headache."
7) "I'm late because I'm stuck in traffic...oh whoops, no, it's because I didn't want to come."
8) "Looking at inspirational quotes to feel better is like looking at a treadmill to lose weight."
9) "If you love something, set it free, or on fire."
10) "Eat like no one is going to see you naked. Because they probably won't."
11) "There's no 'I' in team, but there is a 'U' in 'f*cked up."
12) "Every day is just another chance to screw everything up again."
13) "It's the weekend. Go do something you'll regret."
14) "Dating is a fun way of finding a new person to destroy emotionally."
15) "Sorry I didn't respond to your text, I just don't care about your feelings."
Photo Credit: Pinterest
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