Red Flags Pre-Date
1. He's "off the grid"
If someone tells you they don't have social media, or have really really private profiles, then hate to break it to you, but they're probably not single. Also it's just really f*cking rude to not have public social for your potential date and her friends to stalk. How else are we meant to find out everything about you before we even meet? I'm kidding (but not really).
2. He opens with a d*ck pic.
Pretty sure everyone knows this red flag, and wouldn't even respond let alone set up a date, but just incase, let me break it down. He's after one thing, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, not everyone dates to meet the love of their life, but pal at least be subtle.
3. He's SUPER keen.
Being keen/excited for your first date is lovely and cute, but being super keen isn't. If he's needy before you've even gone on a first date then that's a serious red flag. Run a mile. Or do the modern equivalent of blocking his number.
4. He flakes out a lot.
You've planned this upcoming first date three times now. He always has to "work late" or gets a "stomach bug". This may just be a coincidence, but it probably isn't. Maybe he's broke and doesn't want to admit he can't afford drinks, or maybe he's just a f*ck boy and hoping you'll send him a nude without ever meeting.
Red Flags During-Date
1. They forget your name.
If he's mixing up your name then it's probably because he's dating a number of other women. Or if he only calls you things like "hun", he ain't the one. It's one name to learn FFS.
2. Talks about his ex all night.
Bringing up an ex on a first day is a big no no, unless it's really vital to a funny anecdote then stay well clear of this. If he brings every conversation back to his ex then get out. He's not over her, and he's basically using you as a free therapist.
3. Brings up how much they earn.
He's either bragging or trying to get you to pay his half. Finance chat on a first date is way too heavy. It's basic social etiquette.
4. Orders for you.
This is not cute, it's creepy. On a first date there's no way someone knows what taste you have. Three years in it's a sweet gesture that shows how well they know you, three minuets in is controlling and weird. I wanted f*cking red wine not a vodka tonic.
5. Doesn't go halves.
This works both ways, if he absolutely won't let you pay your half it gets awkward, or if he assumes you're paying for all of it. Just go Dutch people!
If any of these happen, your best bet is to run a mile or at least be cautious proceeding. If he sends you a d*ck pic, block/delete his number/name and shame him on Twitter. Go forth and conquer those first dates...
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Video Credit: Dating beyond Borders
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