Horror Movie Shower Curtain & Bath Mat
You are sound asleep when suddenly a piercing noise jolts you out of bed. You slowly slink to the bathroom and flip on the lights. Your eyes are assaulted with the goriest of sights - a shower curtain smeared with bloody hand prints and a bath mat stained with bloody footprints. Your heart is now racing; there's no way you're going back to sleep now. Which is perfect because the piercing noise was your alarm clock, the gory sight was your new Horror Movie Shower Curtain & Bath Mat, you're now fully awake, and it's time to get ready for work. Of course the Horror Movie Shower Curtain & Bath Mat are completely practical - you can use them to keep the water in your shower and rub your toesies on when you are done. But that's not why you want them. You want them for the thrill, for the little jolt down your spine every time you turn on the lights. But even that's not the real reason you want them. You want a Horror Movie Shower Curtain & Bath Mat so that your mom will just shake her head and wonder what she did wrong when she sees them on her next visit. And if she doesn't - if she doesn't think anything is wrong and just goes to clean up the "blood" on your Horror Movie Shower Curtain & Bath Mat as if she's done it before - well then that's really scary.
"Nobody was quite sure what caused it. An alien pathogen riding the tail of Halley's Comet? Some government ""rage"" virus? Radiation from a downed satellite? Your guess is as good as ours, but one thing's for sure - the dead are rising, and they are hungry for your brains. It's a post-zombie world, and if we want to live in it, we have to learn to live with them. Everybody walks around with large caliber weapons, swords, and cricket bats now, but every now and again you see the so-called ""domesticated"" zombies. These de-toothed and chained shamblers are useful for all sorts of tasks - from carrying your groceries to scaring off those nasty neighborhood kids. Now, of course it's illegal to sell reanimated corpses, so we've had to rely on resin facsimiles to stand in for a frightening visage of death. Watching over your garden is a monstrous shambler, pale, vile and seemingly hungry! Of course, you know better! He's just a terrifying statue! From mid-torso up, he ""rises"" out of your freshly tilled and mulched begonias ready to devour the brains of the next interloper he comes across. Guaranteed to scare away any trespasser, without the headaches of accidentally releasing a real zombie. All those complications, bodies, and police forms - who needs the hassle? Your fresh resin Garden Zombie comes packed in three pieces, and assembles in seconds!"
Tac Bac - Tactical Canned Bacon
The season is summer, not sure the month. We've been holed up in TG HQ for seven years now. The zombies have fought long and hard, but the tide is seeming to finally turn. We will survive this invasion, this walking pestilence. We will, because we were smart enough to stock up on Tac Bac - Tactical Canned Bacon. Yes, we have been surviving on bacon. That is why we are strong; that is why we'll win. Ok, that is just one scenario where having a lot of Tac Bac - Tactical Canned Bacon would be handy. Another one is: you are gaming late at night and you get hungry. Seriously, do you really need a reason to crave bacon? We think not. And Tac Bac - Tactical Canned Bacon is the very best canned bacon we've ever tasted. Not mushed up like dog food, this bacon is in actual strips - blessed with the magic of preservatives to last over 10 years in the can. Sure, you have to refrigerate after opening, but we bet you'll eat it all too quick to worry about that. Tac Bac - Tactical Canned Bacon - the zenith of canned bacon! For nutrition information, click here.