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Blood Bath Bloody Hand Towel
$11.99
Blood Bath Bloody Hand Towel
So you find yourself in the Hearts of Fire Funeral Home and Crematorium. Hearing a strange sound, almost like a bunch of hurt penguins, you push past the curtains and creep into the back room. There you see the mortician eating a few bits of a body on the table. He closes his deadly eyes in enjoyment, when the front bell rings. Before you can say, "Happy Birthday to Me," he's dabbed his face with a small towel and headed out to the front room. No one will know. But you're smart...
ThinkGeek
Micro Sonic Grenade
$9.99 $9.49
Micro Sonic Grenade
"blockquote p{text-align:center;} Wednesday, at ThinkGeek HQ... KING TY How does it... um... how does it work? SIR WILLY OF YONKERS I know not, my liege. KING TY Consult the Book of Office Armaments! BROTHER HARRISON Office Armaments, chapter 42, verses 13 through 37. HANS THE CLERIC - (reading) And Saint Harley raised the sonic grenade up on high, saying, ""O Ceiling Cat, bless this thy sonic grenade, that with it thou mayest blow thine annoying coworker's eardrums into tiny bits, in thy mercy."" And the people did feast upon the bacon and cheese, and caffeine and marshmallows, and cupcakes and breakfast cereals, and fruit snacks and large chu... BROTHER HARRISON Skip a bit, Brother... HANS THE CLERIC And Ceiling Cat spake, saying, ""First shalt thou set the delay. You can has delay of 5, 30, or 60 seconds. Then you seez the LED flash quick liek. Then is the time of the throwing. You can count to three, or four, or even five. Unless you set the delay to five, in which case you is Teh Fail with active grenade in yer paw. Once you has counted enough, lobbest thou the Micro Sonic Grenade toward thy office foe, who, being naughty and not at all a team player, shall snuff it."" BROTHER HARRISON Nuff said. ALL Nuff said. Important Note The Micro Sonic Grenade already has a battery installed, however you need to pull the black tab underneath the battery to activate the Grenade the first time you use it. Simply peel back the silicone cover near the bottom of the Grenade where the battery is. Find the black tab and remove. Ready to rumble! Product Features For ages 14+. Not suitable for children due to small parts and loud sound. Office prank grenade to blast your coworkers' eardrums Set the timer to 5, 30, or 60 seconds Hide or throw the grenade near your target Run away (but not so far away that you can't enjoy their suffering) Siren is 110-115 decibels, about the loudness of a sandblaster or power saw Batteries Included WARNING: Avoid prolonged exposure to alarm siren."
ThinkGeek
8GB USB Flash Drive Bottle Opener
$12.99 $9.99
8GB USB Flash Drive Bottle Opener
There are so many things that a geek should carry around, but if you did manage to remember all of them, you'd look like you were ready to hike the Alps. So we settle. We carry things like Swiss Army Knives or multitools. And of course, the one tool we really need is the one that we don't have. This is how the world ends. We bang the beer bottle on the edge of the table and whimper. We're here to solve your problems. (Yep, thank us later.) This shiny silver USB flash drive has 8 GB of storage for all your important data AND it doubles as a bottle opener. Bring it to work, load it up with all your important files, and then bring it out to happy hour or back to your place for a few brewskis. It's a brilliant invention and we're honestly not sure why nobody thought of it sooner. Product Specifications Shun the unitasker! This flash drive also opens bottles! USB 2.0, 8 GB of storage Stylish, portable, and useful in TWO ways Supports Windows 7/Vista/XP, Linux 2.5, MAC OS X or higher Dimensions: 75 x 18 x 9 mm (approx.) Weight: 40g Please drink & download responsibly
ThinkGeek
Gingerdead Men Cookie Cutter
$6.99
Gingerdead Men Cookie Cutter
Is ginger used in embalming? No. Is it an effective herbal ingredient in tinctures that increase longevity? Not really. Can you make a ginger tea that will make you look younger, reduce wrinkles, stem the effects of Alzheimers, macular degeneration, or arthritis? Sadly, no. Ginger is great for things like stomach aches and nausea, but will it lead to a longer life? Probably not. So it is with this cookie cutter that we remind ourselves of our mortality. The inevitability of death. The haunting spectre of Thanatos as he creeps up behind you, scythe at the ready... but it's not all bad news! At least we can get some cookies out of the deal, and that will make the years we have left to us that much more delicious! Gingerbread men are a delicious holiday cookie, but the ones we make have a twist. The cookie cutter we use, you see, cuts a wee little man shape out of your rolled gingerbread dough, while the other side presses a cutesy little skeleton into the surface. The finished cookie looks like a Gingerbread x-ray. A GingerDEAD man, if you will. Get one of your own right here! They're high-quality food-safe ABS plastic is durable, and cleans up quickly, so you can get back to eating more gingerbread cookies. Ginger may not keep your hair-line from receding, but at least they're delicious! Features One gingerbread man cookie-cutter with skeleton impression Makes deliciously dead gingerbread men Durable ABS food-safe plastic Handwash only 5 inches high by 4.25 inches wide
ThinkGeek
Bleeding Skull Candle
$12.99 $5.99
Bleeding Skull Candle
We've been to our share of Halloween parties, horror movie watching parties, and horror roleplaying games. We know scary. We love scary. Most skull candles we've found have been more kitschy than scary. The Bleeding Skull Candle? It's something worthy of being the centerpiece at our Halloween feast or mood lighting for our Call of Cthulhu game. At first, you'll just have a normal skull candle. Place it on a heat-resistant plate, because in a while, you'll need it! Light up the Bleeding Skull Candle and begin your night of mayhem and horror. As it burns, bright red wax will ooze from its eye sockets and down its face, pooling ever so deliciously on the plate. (See why you needed it?) The longer it bleeds, the creepier and bloodier it gets, making it perfect for those nights when you keep turning the dial up, up, up on the scare factor. Product Specifications Spooky skull candle bleeds as it burns Perfect centerpiece for your Halloween feast (or anytime!) On the outside, it looks like a normal skull candle! On the inside, it's full of red wax, which bleeds out the eye holes in a most creepy way (how else can one bleed out the eye holes?) The longer the candle burns, the more "blood" pours out Dimensions: 4" x 3.5" x 4.5" Important Candle Safety Notes: Remove all packaging before lighting. Place on a protected, heat-resistant plate, away from anything that can catch fire, and out of reach of children and pets. Keep wick trimmed to 1/8” at all times. If smoking occurs, blow candle out. Trim wick, remove trimmings, and relight. Keep the wax pool free of wick trimmings, matches, or any combustible material. Keep the wick centered. Avoid burning in draft. Never leave a burning candle unattended. Keep it within sight at all times. Keep all matches and lighters out of the reach of children.
ThinkGeek
Lil' Vampire Pacifier
$4.99
Lil' Vampire Pacifier
When our copywriter monkey's brother was a baby, he had a biting problem. He just loved sinking his brand new teeth into anything and anyone available and he especially loved the tender flesh of the human neck. And so, geekling Brian went through life chomping on anyone who dared cuddle him. He would probably have escalated to vampirism if not for one angel of a woman at the grocery store. Mid-dairy-aisle, Brian sunk his razor sharp baby teeth into his mother's neck, causing her to cry out. The woman moved in with advice. "Bite him back," she said. Brian's mom looked skeptical. "Seriously," the woman said. "He won't learn unless you bite him back." Mom sunk her teeth into Brian's tender baby neck. He cried, he screamed, and he never bit anyone ever again. Do you have a noisy baby or one you feel may grow up to drink the blood of mortals? This pacifier is the way to go. It features luscious red lips and a full set of teeth including sharp canines for sucking the blood of the living. Our lawyers say we must tell you that ThinkGeek is not responsible if your geekling grows up to be one of the undead (but we are grateful because that means they can be one of our customers for centuries!).
ThinkGeek
USB Pet Rock by ThinkGeek
$7.99
USB Pet Rock by ThinkGeek
The Pet Rock phenomenon was an unbelievable experiment performed in the 70s by an advertising executive. The challenge: could he take a simple idea, market it, make people happy, and use it all to turn himself into a millionaire? The answer: yes. And . . . well, we at ThinkGeek love performing famous experiments to see if we can duplicate the outcome. But we need your help. Simply plug the USB cable into a free port and let the fun begin. The USB Pet Rock will instantly begin to work its magic...
ThinkGeek
Angry Panda Glasses
$9.99 $5.99
Angry Panda Glasses
Though quiet and shy by nature, Angry Panda creates noise through actions. For Angry Panda, apathy is not an option. Angry Panda is the embodiment of all forward-thinking doers, and doesn’t subscribe to any one doctrine or agenda. Everyone has their own Angry Panda – they just need to awaken the Angry Panda within themselves. We all get a little angry sometimes. And sometimes we can't take action to improve our world, so the best option is to sit back and enjoy a delicious adult beverage. Why not blend up a delicious Panda Bear? Fill your blender with 1 oz Amaretto, 1/2 oz White Creme de Cacao, 1/2 oz of Dark Creme de Cacao, 1/2 tablespoon of chocolate syrup, a dash of vanilla extract, and a generous scoop of vanilla ice cream. Blend on low until smooth and legendarily delicious. Product Specifications Materials: Glass Capacity: 1 16 oz Pint; 2oz shots (two pack) Dishwasher safe: No Microwave safe: No
ThinkGeek
ForkChops 3-in-1 Eating Utensils
$5.99
ForkChops 3-in-1 Eating Utensils
Anything that stands in the way of us cramming yummy food into our mouths in our enemy. The most common cause of this is not having the proper utensil. Well, consider the problem solved. Just get yourself a pair (or few) of ForkChops 3-in-1 Eating Utensils, and you will be prepared for almost every eating situation. ForkChops 3-in-1 Eating Utensils are three of the most common utensils all mashed into one. You get a fork. You get a knife. You even get a pair of chopsticks! The tips of the chopsticks are even textured for better gripping! The only things these can't pick up are soups and melted ice cream. But shoot - just drink those. Always look classy by having the proper utensil at hand (and not clumsy, if you find things you just can't eat well with chopsticks). ForkChops 3-in-1 Eating Utensils - get eating! ForkChops 3-in-1 Eating Utensils On one end you have a fork and a knife, on the other you have chopsticks. With one pair of ForkChops, you'll be ready for almost any food! Made of food-safe polystyrene. Reusable and dishwasher safe (top shelf only). If eating super hot foods (like soup), don't leave the ForkChops sitting in the heat for too long. While they have a melting temp of 300° F, they will get a little wibbly. Dimensions: approx. 10.25" long.
ThinkGeek