Gerber Artifact Pocket Keychain Tool
We'll admit it. The geek hatred of the unitasker has swung the pendulum way too far in the other direction. Now there are multitools that do eleventy-billion things and they still fit in your pocket... if you don't plan on putting anything else in there. Just suck... in... the gut... and stuff the tool in the pocket - quickly! THERE! It fits. What is that stabbing pain? Don't mind that - it's just the corkscrew attachment...
The Horse Head Mask
Internet memes are fickle creatures. Often, they are borne of random contrasts made ridiculous by context. Disparate happenstance thrust together by serendipity and shared by social-media occasionally result in a critical mass of popularity. Most times, the meme burns out, forgotten in as little as a day, but sometimes they endure. This is one of those stories. This is the story of the Horse Boy of Aberdeen. It started, as most bizarre things do, in Japan...
Most offices have many levels, both in social structure and in geometric space. This can present difficulties when planning office raids and attack strategies. For many missions a rapid fire, sugar-spewing shooter is what is needed (see the Marshmallow Shooter below). But sometimes that's just not enough. For the times when you need heavy fire, you need the Marshmallow Blaster. Firing one regular sized marshmallow (not included) at a time, the Marshmallow Blaster has the power to hit targets up to 40 feet away. Easy to load and reload. Just pump the handle to build up air pressure, then lock and load a marshmallow. The handle of the pump conveniently doubles as a stock for added stabilization. You can even load up a shotgun blast of mini marshmallows, for a good scatter shot. This is the Sultan of Sugary Shoot-outs, the Colossus of Confectionary Combat, the Bazooka of Bite-Sized Bonbons - you get the idea. Add a Marshmallow Blaster to your arsenal and office domination is almost guaranteed. And, dare we say, victory will indeed be sweet. The Marshmallow Blaster can fire any brand of regular sized marshmallows, sold separately. Remember, marshmallows are a fat free projectile.
Gummy Bear Ice Cube Tray
If you go out in the woods today, you're sure of a big surprise. If you go out in the woods today, you'd better go in disguise. For every bear that ever there was will gather there for certain, because today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic. Yes, it is time for the annual teddy bear picnic! It's a lovely time for teddy bears young and old as they dance, play, and shout, all carefree and happy. There's wonderful things to eat and wonderful games to play, including hide and seek. But it's better that you humans stay at home, because we've heard teddy bears will viciously maul anyone who catches them frolicking in the forest. Have your own teddy bear picnic at home with the Gummy Bear Ice Cube Tray. This food-safe silicone tray can be used to make bear-shaped ice for your beverages or bear-shaped foods! For wee geeks, we recommend pouring in different colored juices (or just a drop of food coloring in plain water) to get multi-colored bears. Or if you prefer your bears to be natural colors, use chocolate. It's a fun time at the teddy bear picnic! But unless you're the mommy or daddy, you're going to have to go to bed at six o'clock. That's how teddy bear picnics operate, you know. Product Specifications Make ice in the shape of adorable bears! Tray makes 16 bear ice cubes for your drinks Fun times: Use fruit juices to make different colored bears 21+ fun: Cranberry bears swimming in vodka! Make bear chocolates or colored bears with candy melts For crystal clear ice, boil the water twice before pouring it into the tray. (Allow the water to cool between each boil.) The boiling forces dissolved air molecules out. Made of food-safe silicone, dishwasher safe (top rack)
Tac Bac - Tactical Canned Bacon
The season is summer, not sure the month. We've been holed up in TG HQ for seven years now. The zombies have fought long and hard, but the tide is seeming to finally turn. We will survive this invasion, this walking pestilence. We will, because we were smart enough to stock up on Tac Bac - Tactical Canned Bacon. Yes, we have been surviving on bacon. That is why we are strong; that is why we'll win. Ok, that is just one scenario where having a lot of Tac Bac - Tactical Canned Bacon would be handy. Another one is: you are gaming late at night and you get hungry. Seriously, do you really need a reason to crave bacon? We think not. And Tac Bac - Tactical Canned Bacon is the very best canned bacon we've ever tasted. Not mushed up like dog food, this bacon is in actual strips - blessed with the magic of preservatives to last over 10 years in the can. Sure, you have to refrigerate after opening, but we bet you'll eat it all too quick to worry about that. Tac Bac - Tactical Canned Bacon - the zenith of canned bacon! For nutrition information, click here.
Infectious Disease Balls - Smallpox (green) by ThinkGeek
IMPORTANT!!! Inside each ball is liquid latex which makes the magic happen when you squeeze it. Be careful you don't pierce the ball with your fingernails or any other sharp object lest you be left with a puddle of neon colored goo. Gotcha? People deal with stress in different ways. Some of us prefer shouting curse words. Others go out for a smoke. Still others head to the kitchen for a snack. All of these are bad habits, of course. We have a solution for the stress eaters of the world... Brought to you by ThinkGeek.
Eyn Case For Smartphones - iPhone 4/4S - Turquoise
While we could carry around our bug-out bag and be prepared for anything the world can throw at us at any moment, it's much more pleasant to travel light. We abandoned desktops for laptops, laptops for netbooks, and now netbooks for tablets. Why are you still carrying around a huge wallet when all you need is your ID and a couple cards? The Eyn Case for Smartphones simplifies your life by allowing you to carry your cash and up to three cards snuggled with your phone...
So, it's mid-summer, and Mario wakes up full of energy. The sun is shining brightly and there's nary a cloud-that-looks-just-like-a-bush in the sky. He steps outside in his Tanooki bathing suit, and squints hard. The sun is-a so bright! So what does Mario do? Simple - he slips on a pair of 8-Bit Sunglasses. And now you can have your own 8-Bit Sunglasses. They are stylish, fun, actually work, and fit most adult heads. They probably won't fit Bowser's head, but most others...
QUESADILLA MAKER PERP9.5 NONSTICK GRIDS EASY CLEAN
Hamilton Beach Small Appliances Quesadilla Maker 95 Nonstick Grids Easy Clean
Self Stirring Mug
How do you like your coffee? Cream with one sugar? Nice. Just cream? Cool. Black? Rock on. Everybody except the black coffee drinker listen up - what do you use to stir your coffee? A spoon? Swizzles? Tongue depressors? Bah. All of those so-called stirring solutions are fraught with failure...
ACCOUTREMENTS BANDAGE - BACON
"Ouch! That Smarts! Treat Your Minor Cuts Scrapes And Scratches With The Incredible Healing Power Of A Designer Bandage. Each Comes In A 3-3/4"" Tall Metal Pocket Tin And Contains A Small Plastic Trinket To Help Make Even The Ouchiest Owies Feel All Better In No Time. The 3"" X 1"" Bacon Strips Are Cut To Look Like Small Slabs Of Bacon. Fifteen Per Tin."
BaconPop - Bacon Flavored Popcorn
Back in the day, Timmy's grandma used to make the most delicious popcorn on the stove. She'd stick her monkey paw into a jar and pull out a big glob of bacon grease, stick it in a pot with the popcorn kernels, put on the lid, and shake shake shake as the popcorn pop pop popped. In another saucepan, she'd melt delicious butter and she poured it all over the bacon-flavored popcorn. With just a sprinkle from the salt shaker, the masterpiece was complete. You COULD do all that today - going through the effort of collecting your bacon grease in a jar and using it to pop your popcorn by hand, but let's face it, you just don't have the time to do it like Grandma Monkey. Now thanks to BaconPop, you don't have to! Just stick a bag in the microwave, press the Popcorn button, and stand back and watch the bag inflate with delicious, buttery, bacontastic popcorn. Everything is better with bacon and this popcorn is so much better, you'll never go back to regular popcorn. Ever. For nutrition information, click here. BaconPop - Bacon Flavored Popcorn Microwave popcorn with delicious buttery bacon flavor Each box contains 3 bags of Bacon Pop, ready for popping in your microwave WARNING: Once they smell it, your co-workers will jump you in an attempt to steal it. Best to eat at home. Alone. BaconPop is vegetarian and certified Kosher (aka, it tastes like bacon, but no pigs were harmed!)
Beats by Dr Dre Solo HD On Ear Headphone - RED Edition
With every sale of (Solo HD) RED Edition headphones, Beats by Dr. Dre donates a percentage of the proceeds to the Global Fund to fight AIDS, tuberculosis and malaria.--Beats Solo HD headphones are made to be a lighter, on-ear version of Studios. Compact enough to fit in your purse, Beats Solo HD headphones carry the powerful signature Sound Beats by Dr. Dre products are famous for. Beats Solo HD headphones are made for Music lovers who want gear that looks as good as it sounds. Beats Solo HD headphones combine advanced Driver technology and premium design for headphones that deliver legendary Beats by Dr. Dre sound and are lightweight and durable. Beats Solo HD headphones are the only Beats by Dr. Dre that come with not one, but two speakers inside each can. That means you get crystal clear highs and deep, rumbling lows in high definition. Each pair is constructed of super-durable, flexible material, reinforced with a metal strip to make sure it never comes apart. They look good, too, every pair of Beats Solo HD headphones feature the same high-quality clear-coat finish you find on a luxury sedan.-Made from super lightweight materials and featuring soft leather ear cups, Beats Solo HD headphones feature an adjustable headband for optimum comfort-Proprietary titanium coated driver technology ensures that Beats Solo HD headphones preserve the deep Bass and accurately reproduce all the details of your music-Control music with the built-in three-button remote control. Adjusting music, volume and moving between tracks and is fast and easy without the hassle of finding your music player or phone -The unique folding system and lightweight materials make these headphones prepared to handle life on the road-Beats Solo HD over ear headphones, Apple remote Microphone in-line cable, carrying case-With every sale of (Solo HD) RED Edition headphones, Beats by Dr. Dre donates a percentage of the proceeds to the Global Fund to fight AIDS, tuberculosis and malaria.
J&R Computer/Music World
Horror Movie Shower Curtain & Bath Mat
You are sound asleep when suddenly a piercing noise jolts you out of bed. You slowly slink to the bathroom and flip on the lights. Your eyes are assaulted with the goriest of sights - a shower curtain smeared with bloody hand prints and a bath mat stained with bloody footprints. Your heart is now racing; there's no way you're going back to sleep now. Which is perfect because the piercing noise was your alarm clock, the gory sight was your new Horror Movie Shower Curtain & Bath Mat, you're now fully awake, and it's time to get ready for work. Of course the Horror Movie Shower Curtain & Bath Mat are completely practical - you can use them to keep the water in your shower and rub your toesies on when you are done. But that's not why you want them. You want them for the thrill, for the little jolt down your spine every time you turn on the lights. But even that's not the real reason you want them. You want a Horror Movie Shower Curtain & Bath Mat so that your mom will just shake her head and wonder what she did wrong when she sees them on her next visit. And if she doesn't - if she doesn't think anything is wrong and just goes to clean up the "blood" on your Horror Movie Shower Curtain & Bath Mat as if she's done it before - well then that's really scary.