There are a lot of manuals for employees of Aperture Laboratories. But you don't necessarily have to read them. Being honest here. We used to hire smarter folks, but our death turnover rate is so high that we've had to lower our standards to the less-than-literate. But here's your Employee Manual and the various books on radiation poisoning that the government requires us to give all new hires. But really, don't bother reading them. It's not necessary to do your job...
The Ex - Unique Knife Set and Holder
We'll get right to the point with this product - it's a wicked cool design for a knife holder and certainly a lot more edgy than the standard old block of wood. We're not sure who the designer might have been thinking of when he created this but we definitely like the results. And it includes five knives!. This unique artistic knife holder is made of heavy duty ABS plastic and will be the talk of the party! It's an innovative knife suspension system with individual protective knife sleeves for each blade. The five knives are made from heavy gauge durable stainless steel. The slots are magnetized to secure knives in the holder. Overall, we'd say The Ex Knife Set is very cutting edge!
Moonlit Gothic Tree 3-Piece Handmade Metal Wall Art -40W x 20H in.
100% handmade wall dÃ©cor. Aluminum on a .5-inch thick wood frame covered in velvet. Hand-sanded design that creates unique holographic effect. Clear coated gloss finish. Dimensions: 40W x 20H inches. A little dark and mysterious, but ever welcoming and serene, the Moonlit Gothic Tree 3-Piece Handmade Metal Wall Art -40W x 20H in. is a unique, gorgeous solution to your bare walls. The sense of movement and variation of color make this a stunning art piece for any style.
Gothic Castle Dragons Bookends
Gothic Castle Dragons Sculptural Bookends Ornate winged dragons climb to the crest of Gothic spires to protect your prized volumes in this pair of imaginative Medieval bookends created by British artist Liam Manchester. Individually sculpted, they are cast in quality designer resin and finished in Gothic greystone as a unique gift available exclusively from Toscano. 4"Wx5"Dx8"H. 2 lbs.
York Monastery Gothic Bench
York Monastery Gothic Bench With spires that reach toward the heavens, this incredible, quality solid hardwood monks bench is a masterwork reminiscent of Gothic architecture. Both historic and functional, our high-backed exclusive bench with hand-carved Gothic rosette paneling provides seating for two and deep storage for items such as fine linens, books or treasures from a bygone era. 47"Wx18 1/2"Dx67"H. 104 lbs.
Crystal Garden Grow Your Own Wish Flower - I Love You - Pink
This gorgeous crystal garden makes a great gift for any occasion. Simply follow the easy to read instructions and within 24hours you will begin to see your crystal wish flower grow. Inside the cork lid sits a small LED light that changes colour, illuminating your crystal at night and creating a stunning display. The set includes everything you need to get your crystal growing; all you need is a wish!
Blood Bath Bloody Hand Towel
So you find yourself in the Hearts of Fire Funeral Home and Crematorium. Hearing a strange sound, almost like a bunch of hurt penguins, you push past the curtains and creep into the back room. There you see the mortician eating a few bits of a body on the table. He closes his deadly eyes in enjoyment, when the front bell rings. Before you can say, "Happy Birthday to Me," he's dabbed his face with a small towel and headed out to the front room. No one will know. But you're smart...
Crystal Skull Glassware
Have you been putting in late hours at your lab in Castle East? Seeing eerie and surprising sights? Now the cadavers rise, the ghouls knock down the doors, the zombies are pouring drinks for Wolf Man and Dracula... are you still at work or is this a party? Now everything's cool. Just have that coffin-banger over at the bar mix you a Transylvania Twist in one of these Crystal Skull Shotglasses. Not into shots? No biggie, how about a pumpkin ale or a hard cider in a Crystal Skull Stein? Sit back and enjoy the rockin' sounds of Igor and the Crypt-Kicker Five. Just remember, no matter how awesome the monster bash is, we'd like to see you around tomorrow. We hear that Frankenstein runs a designated driver service. Product Specifications Creepy cool glassware for Halloween or anytime Host your own monster bash (with or without vampires) Choose: Skull Stein (holds 1 pint), features bony handle Set of 4 Skull Shotglasses (1.5 ounces each) Dishwasher safe We love you (even you creepy people), so drink responsibly
New! Upgraded technology provides brighter display and a smaller footprint! Crafted from fine quality glass, Luminglass transforms electric current into a spectacular array of light so unique, it was seen in the film Star Trek ® "First Contact"...
Polluted Toxic Waste Glasses
Unless you're ingesting only pure rainwater and distilled pure grain alcohol, you're ingesting poison. That's right, Mandrake. Just like the global communist conspiracy, anything you drink will infiltrate and corrupt from within. That's why we're strong believers in total commitment. As long as you're going to drink poison, you may as well make sure your drinking vessel of choice makes it look the part. Sure, we all have hard jobs - Ice-cream Fluoridation Administrator, Director of Survival Mineshafts, Nuclear Rodeo Cowboy - but at the end of the day, we could all use a drink, amirite? So grab your highball, and pour yourself a nice tall glass of something tasty. Oh, and if you can make it green and slightly radioactive, even better. These glasses look the part, alright. Each set of two glasses look like little 55 gallon drums except they're just twelve ounces, and they're made of borosilicate glass. Still, with the nuclear hazard logo etched in the side, and filled with some sort of green luminescent liquid on-the-rocks, they're guaranteed to be the hit of the party.
Star Theater Pro Home Planetarium
On a clear night, one has only to look up to realize how much wonder is still waiting for us in the universe. Out there, amongst the stars, are secrets and surprises beyond our wildest dreams. Well why not, while you're working on your own way of getting up there to the stars, bring the stars down to you? With the Star Theater Pro Home Planetarium it's as easy as a button press. The Star Theater Pro Home Planetarium is the coolest little optical star planetarium for the home you'll ever find...
Panic Button Light Switch Replacement Kit
In every sci-fi film or TV show, there is usually one easily recognizable trope - no, not the hypersexual female alien in the skin-tight cat-suit, though she does make a fairly regular appearance. The answer we're looking for is the panic-button. You know, the Red Button™! The big shiny candy-like button that erases history, ejects the warp core, blows the emergency seals, activates the self-destruct, sounds red-alert, engages the hyperdrive, activates the halide fire-retardants, or simply flushes the waste-disposal system is a regular character in most sci-fi. It's curious, then, that the Big Red Button™ doesn't appear in your home or office! Wouldn't it be great to have one of those buttons, even if pressing it doesn't warn the sentries that the world-killer virus has escaped containment? What about your light-switch? Isn't that little flippy-lever overdue for a makeover? Sure it is, otherwise, you wouldn't have read this far! What we're offering is a wired replacement for your light-switch. Just turn off the breakers, pull out the light-switch and replace it with this one. It's a wire-for-wire swap, so it should be easy. Please be safe, though, and double - nay - TRIPLE CHECK that the breakers were switched before doing any home wiring. When you're done, you've got a Big Red Button™ that, when slapped, will turn on and off your lights. Also, if you just want to dim your lights and your computer voice-activation phrase isn't recognized by your home-automation equipment, your new Big Red Button™ also acts as a dimmer. Instead of smacking it, a gentle turn will lower the illumination to a level suitable for alien seduction. Features US Light-switch replacement kit 2 3/4" by 4 1/4" brushed aluminum wall plate and large red dimmer switch Not suitable for fighter ejection panels, nuclear rod extraction, or fire suppression systems Let's be serious here: Please use caution when performing any electrical work in your house Make sure you trip the breaker to your outlet to the off position before attempting to replace your switch