Blood Bath Bloody Hand Towel
So you find yourself in the Hearts of Fire Funeral Home and Crematorium. Hearing a strange sound, almost like a bunch of hurt penguins, you push past the curtains and creep into the back room. There you see the mortician eating a few bits of a body on the table. He closes his deadly eyes in enjoyment, when the front bell rings. Before you can say, "Happy Birthday to Me," he's dabbed his face with a small towel and headed out to the front room. No one will know. But you're smart...
"Have you ever watched a majestic creature with appreciation for its grace and dignity but secretly wished it were less magnificent and more cuddly? Chibi creatures just melt the heart with their playful baby-like appearance. They inspire you to scoop them up and make high-pitched cooing sounds at them. This is why we've had some trouble putting down Chibiterasu. Sure, we love and respect Amaterasu, but despite her fuzzy wolf form, she's just not cuddly. Plush Chibiterasu is the three-dimensional version of Amaterasu's son, the hero of Okamiden. His soft fleece body is 12 inches long from nose to tail and 10 inches tall from toe to eartips, perfect for carrying in the crook of an arm or cuddling to your chest. All of his markings, from his gray paw pads to his red Shinto-inspired marks of divinity (his eyes, too!) are painted on with attention to detail and accuracy. He even has a tiny ""x"" stitched under his tail, to exactly mirror his animated Okamiden-self. His soft cuddliness makes him great for Okami fans of all ages, but his beauty makes him more of a prize for the grown-up Okami-otaku. Product Specifications Licensed Capcom plush Painted details including Shinto-inspired marks of divinity Single-body soft plush construction 12 inches long from nose to tail, 10 inches tall from paw to ear tips"
Forever Alone Statuette
Opening the front door of your mansion, the entryway is beautifully lit by a massive crystal chandelier. Upstairs are a variety of empty rooms you run past in the middle of the night, because of ghosts and all. Downstairs is the huge kitchen that houses the monolithic steel fridge, which contains a bottle of mustard, a jar with six green olives, and a Styrofoam to-go box that was here before you moved in. Just past the kitchen and the living room with the big screen, solitary Ikea Poang chair, and gaming console (with one controller) is your library. Your massive library houses hundreds of leather-bound books, warmly lit by your fireplace. On the mantle, just below a painting of you in a velvet robe, is a series of ivory busts. Among them: Shakespeare, Bach, Lincoln, Athena, Einstein, and one you've recently added. It will have been a decade tomorrow that you've lived alone in this house and it's time you commemorated that feat. Now, among the marbled faces of the greatest individuals in history you have... the Forever Alone Statue. Time to celebrate. You would invite your friends, but... come on... Product Specifications A beloved/hated internet meme, in statue form Now you won't be forever alone. You'll have this! Individually casted in resin and hand-painted Designed in Norway, now manufactured exclusively for ThinkGeek Dimensions: 7 inches tall with support stand Weight: 1.5 lbs.
Abyss LED Touchscreen Watch
Beware of cheap imitators! This watch is famous. Srsly, we wouldn't lie about something this important. Here's just a small snippet of the things it can do for you*: Gives the ability to gaze into the abyss and come face to face with the true nature of your being Enables you to experience reality in four dimensions like a Tralfamadorian Use your knowledge of blue oyster cult numerals to control the Eye of Sauron Flaunt your disregard for the Temporal Proliferation Treaty of 3012 Suck the souls out of your enemies, leaving them empty shells of the losers they once were Experience the horror (the horror) of the heart of darkness or blue lights like Tron Be friended on Facebook by such famous wizards as Merlin, Gandalf, and Dumbledore (he's not dead!) Get you into top secret locations without top secret clearance Instantly assess whether someone believes in midichlorians Automatically harvest your Farmville crops, till your soil, and replant new crops instantly Checks into Foursquare for your location on all possible planes of existence Seriously, you'd better get your hands on this watch before we get a Cease & Desist from the Federation. This kind of technology just shouldn't be on the open market for any chucklehead to order and use. But we trust you nerds. At least, we trust you won't use your newfound powers to hurt us. Because you like us, right? Right. * Powers of the Abyss Watch only work if you are The One. If you are not The One, YMMV. Product Specifications Japanese-inspired blue LED touchscreen digital watch Gently touch the screen to display the time Touch and hold to enter time setting mode Blue & white LEDs encircle the mouth of the Abyss Black, snakeskin-textured leather band with buckle clasp Powered by 2 - CR2016 batteries (included) Longer-than-average battery life since the time only displays when you tap the watch! ThinkGeek is not responsible if the watch drives you crazy
Doomed Crystal Skull Shotglass
The life of an average skull is pretty straightforward. First, you're inhabited by the brains of your human, then you're either burned or buried and inhabited by... well, let's not think about that. If you're very lucky, you may end up on stage for a production of Hamlet. If you're very unlucky, you get inhabited by a spirit of intellect under the control of an evil necromancer...
Infectious Disease Balls - Smallpox (green) by ThinkGeek
IMPORTANT!!! Inside each ball is liquid latex which makes the magic happen when you squeeze it. Be careful you don't pierce the ball with your fingernails or any other sharp object lest you be left with a puddle of neon colored goo. Gotcha? People deal with stress in different ways. Some of us prefer shouting curse words. Others go out for a smoke. Still others head to the kitchen for a snack. All of these are bad habits, of course. We have a solution for the stress eaters of the world... Brought to you by ThinkGeek.