Us Brits are a complicated bunch. Social interactions cause a plethora of anxiety and awkwardness, we never say what we mean, and live in constant fear of inconveniencing someone regardless of how much they're inconveniencing us. Read below for 9 very British problems...
1. Saying Goodbye.It goes on forever, it's a long and rambling fiasco. We spend the whole time during said social interaction willing it to end, but when it does we freak out and drag it on. "Yes call soon, we'll do lunch, bye, so nice speaking, bye, byeeeeeeeee". Why do we drag on the last bye like we're falling down a well? It'll forever be a mystery.
2. Living In Fear Of Missing A Parcel
You've got a delivery coming, and despite this being the third time said delivery service said they were going to arrive, you're the one on edge. You are frozen, unable to do anything, incase you miss the doorbell. You daren't go upstairs, nay, you must potter around the kitchen for hours on edge.
3. Buses = Hell
Buses are the epitome of British social awkwardness. We sit praying that no one will sit next to us, but then when the bus fills up and no one does you don't know whether to feel relieved or insulted. I bet Americans keep their bags on their laps hoping someone will sit next to them and strike up conversation, heathens...
4. Tea Dunking
You want your biscuit to be nicely submerged but not so soggy that it breaks off and falls into your tea. There's no pain quite like losing a nice cuppa to a precarious biscuit dip.
5. Never Saying What You Mean
"It's not quite what I had in mind" translates as "That is f*cking awful please change it"
"Is that what we're having for dinner" translates as "I really don't want to eat that"
"I think I better make a move" translates as "I have nothing else to do I just really don't want to be here".
"Fancy a drink" translates as "Can you accompany me for 8 solid hours of drowning our sorrows?"
"I'll see how I feel later" translates as "I will under no circumstance be attending"
"I'm easy either way" translates as "I will be very bothered if you don't pick the option I want"
6. Talking To People, In General
You concentrate so hard on trying to hold the right amount of eye contact with someone that you have no idea what they're talking about. Then when you realise you don't know what they've been saying you laugh and nod, hoping that they're not talking about the death of a pet.
7. Always Sounding Sarcastic
Being genuinely happy can often be taken for sarcasm, because well, we're British and most the time everything is sarcastic. Saying "can't wait" or "great" couldn't sound less sincere even if you do actually mean it. Ditto for emojis and exclamation marks.
8. Having To Lie To Your Hairdresser
You always say you're pleased with your haircut, despite the fact it's crushing your soul and breaking you inside.
9. Moaning About The Weather
It doesn't matter what the weather is like, we won't like it. We spend all Winter complaining about the cold, rain and snow, but when Summer comes around we complain about the humidity and heat. We are never satisfied. We also like to act constantly surprised when it rains, saying things like "But it's been so lovely this week" like this is isn't Britain and we're not use to it by now...
What other very British problems are there? Let us know in the comments!
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