Breakups suck, and unfortunately we don't all posses Taylor Swift's talent of getting over someone by writing a really sassy song that makes millions. No, our version of "We Are Never Getting Back Together" is a drunken essay we type through tears and send to our ex- doesn't really have the same effect, does it? You're not alone though babes, here are 10 stages of a breakup us gals all go through...
1. The Denial Stage
You're still in shock, you manage to drag yourself to work and don't tell anyone for 24 hours because you're not quite sure if it really happened. Regardless of who ended it, there's still a time period where it hasn't sunk in.
2. The Duvet Stage
The duvet is you, you are the duvet. You lie in bed crying and not moving for two days, apart from to open the door for your pizza delivery and to defrost more ice-cream. You resemble a feral child who has been discovered after living with wolves for ten years. It's not pretty, but necessary.
3. The Pep Talk Stage
Your friends arrive to get you out of your slump. They make you tell them what happened, whilst drinking four bottles of vino, and remind you what a bad ass independent woman you are. They then make you shower and put on clothes. Apparently a duvet doesn't count, who decides these things?!
4. The F*ck This Stage
After the pep talks from your nearest and dearest you realise that is happened for the best, and that there are many, many things you won't miss about said ex. Lets be honest, you weren't going to end up with this guy, and you also won't end up dying alone with your cats eating your face.
5. The 'Out Out' Stage
This stage lasts a while, it's a blur of shots, cute outfits, and girls nights. You kiss a couple of guys, but aren't ready for anything more than a drunken snog just yet. But that's ok, because these nights out are reminding you that single is really fun, and that there are plenty of guys out there who are interested in you.
6. The Social Media Cleanse Stage
By this stage you've realised that stalking their social media every day isn't helping or healthy. You block his number, unfriend and unfollow him. But, you also make all your profiles public to document how well you're doing.
7. The Reinvent Yourself Stage
I don't know why women do this, but it's an integral part of breaking up with someone. You need a new hairstyle, some new clothes (re: everything he hated you in) and maybe a tattoo. You delve into work and finding yourself again- all this free time is actually really handy, who knew?!
8. The Dating App Stage
You download Tinder, Bumble and Happn. At first it seems like a very weird concept, but before you know it you're hooked. Every match feels like a little f*ck you to your ex.
9. The Dating Stage
You take the plunge and go on a date with one of your Tinder matches. It's awful and you go home and cry, reminiscing about your ex. Your friends push you to get back out there, and begrudgingly, you do- you finally go on a date with that guy at work who's been asking you for months. It ends up being quite nice.
10. The Moving On Stage
It happens slowly, but one day you wake up and suddenly realise that you don't hurt anymore. You don't have that heaviness in your chest anymore, and you're genuinely excited by the prospect of finding love again.
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