Zombie Glass Decanter
We've always been perplexed by the expression, "Pour me a stiff one." Sure, the word stiff can mean potent or strong, which certainly describes hard liquor, but to us, stiff connotes things like death or at least the middle school sleepover game, Light As a Feather, Stiff As A Board. (Did you know that game has been played by kiddos since the 17th century? We found an account in the diary of our peep, Samuel Pepys!) Since we're not fans of death, but rather undeath, why don't you use this Zombie Decanter to pour us an undead one? After all, in slightly-more-than-moderate amounts, alcohol serves to dull our senses, slur our speech, and makes us stumble around, much like our zombie friends. This vessel closes with a cork stopper and will hold approximately 27 ounces of your favorite stupefying liquid. Just remember, you'll never survive the apocalypse if you're drunk, so drink responsibly, will ya? We need you on our survival team. Product Specifications Glass decanter in the shape of a zombie head Features sagging skin, exposed brains, and bad teeth Closes with a cork stopper (included) Fill it with 27 ounces of your favorite beverage Drink responsibly - we need you on our zombie survival team
Dreamlights Fireflies in a Jar
"As the days get longer, and the nights get warmer, people are venturing outside their doors and enjoying the moonlight. As they walk down streets and paths, the flickering lights of fireflies are hard to miss. During some summers, trees would light up with more fireflies than there were stars in the heavens, turning the whole sky upside-down. As kids, many of us ran through our parents' back yards, collecting fireflies in jars. They'd flicker inside, blinking out their little buggy code to each other. We would wonder what their bioluminescent blinkenlights were actually saying. Were they discussing the merits of Proust? Perhaps engaging in a rabid defense of French Existentialist poetry in an age of materialism and excess. No - nothing that heady. In fact, their gentle flickering communicates their ability to mate and their location - the entomological equivalent of ""Hey baby! Yo! Over here, good-lookin'! Yo!"" Of course, unless you're an 8-year old boy, or an entomologist, bugs are kinda icky, so handling them may not be your favorite thing to do. Also, there's the cruelty factor of shaking a jar full of bugs giving them tiny buggy concussions in an effort to stimulate their bioluminescence simply for the joy of a child who, in a few short minutes, will lose interest in favor of their Nintendo DS and some new Pokemon title. So where bugs fail us, robots fill in. These robots come in the form of tiny LEDs inside a frosted glass lantern. During the day, the lantern soaks up the energy of the sun, and during the night the little robot bugs glow, flickering and throbbing like real fireflies. You can set them to glow as long as they have power, or only when you shake the lantern. Don't worry about harming the little fellas - they aren't real. Your karma is safe. So traipse across your moonlit garden again, like you did when you were a kid. Set it on your night stand to offer a soft soothing glow while you sleep, or just take a walk using the lantern as cool illumination as you go. The fireflies won't mind - in fact, they'll probably come to check out the hot little robotic numbers inside. Ooh yeah, baby. Features Glass lantern full of flickering LED ""fireflies"" Rechargeable solar batteries keep your lights going for many hours Switchable to glow when it gets dark, or when you shake the jar Soothing light that's cruelty free! 4 inches in diameter, 5 3/4 inches tall"
Survival Kit in a Sardine Can
Sardines come packed in metal tins and even though they are a good source of omega 3 fatty acids, they are still oily and kind of funky smelling. No offense to any fans out there but we feel the metal tins could be put to much better use. Here we have a genuine air-tight, waterproof, crushproof sardine can packed full of 25 survival items...